Random Ramblings

The God Project by John Saul

Just finished a book entitled The God Project, written by John Saul. In this book, children are being genetically altered in order to create the "super-being" that will be able to regenerate themselves, and ultimately be able to withstand anything happening to them. The story takes you through twists and turns, sad parts, angry parts, and confusion. In the end, just when you think you have it all figured out, John Saul throws another curve ball in, and the ending is not at all what you think it is going to be. I would definitely recommend it as a read.....as long as you take the following into consideration:

A. It does take about SIDS and the death of children

B. It does bring up a lot of questions that there are no real good answers to

C. It does incite you to question if this has been/is being done now. And would we really know!

My Pets

11:35 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

Thought I would put a few update pictures of my pets on here today.

This first picture is of Otis, the puppy I got for my birthday. This is his favorite place to sleep, snuggled in the middle of my bed. He always burrows himself down there, after I have made the bed of course, and we have to be careful not to sit on him!

This is a picture of our two dogs, Otis and Abby. Otis is a Min Pin, and won't get much bigger then he is right now. Abby is 1/2 Husky and 1/2 german Shepherd. She is 9 or 10 years old (not exactly sure as we got her from our local Animal Shelter).

This is Max and Boots. I wrote about how Max became part of our family this fall. The funny thing about this picture is Max and Boots hate each other most of the day.......except first thing in the morning, when they must work together to stay warm LOL

Good People, Hurtful Words

5:24 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Its taken me a few days to get to a place where I could actually post this without crying. See I have felt this "need" to get back involved in church. There are two reasons. First, I need to develop a deeper relationship with God. Second, I crave the socializing with other Christians as I don't go very many places. So our church has started a new Thursday Morning service, and I ventured out to attend it. The service was good, and I felt that I had learned something~which after all was my purpose. Afterwards, we all stood together (there were 10 of us) and prayed for one another. However, when it became my turn, I got slapped not once but twice. First I was told by one person that she felt I used my illness as a way to get attention! OUCH! The second slap was from another lady who said that I must not even speak the name of MS because by saying I had it, I was giving the credit to satan and not claiming God's healing in my life.

Now, I have to stop and address this first before I go on. I do believe God is healing me. However, I also believe His timing is not my own. How presumptuous would I be, if I gave Him a time line and a course of plan as to how to Heal my ailment. Maybe I will receive my healing here on earth, maybe not until that day I receive the ultimate of healing. Secondly, I try very hard to NOT say anything or do anything that would make it look as if I am "using" the MS to get attention. I so often go out of my way not to allow people to see what is really going on with me for this very reason. I stayed away from church for months because I was having such a hard time walking. But just to make sure I went to someone in the church that I trust would have the integrity and no problem telling me if she thought I was doing this. She confirmed what I already thought, that no I had not.

Needless to say, I have really been hurt by all of this. And it has made me really wonder why I bother to try to go to church. How do I move from here, to understanding and compassion for these women. My worldly self wants to yell and scream, rant and carry on.....tell them off etc. But I know that this not only will do no good, but it will only harm me in the process. It hurts to know that those people you are looking toward for help, support, and understanding during a difficult time~are the same ones that hurt you the most. I still have not decided whether or not to go on Thursday, but if I do, I can guarantee that my mouth will be SHUT!

Quilts in the Garden Update

8:05 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

I am stitching a pattern from Paula Vaughn's Quilts in the Garden for my best friend Mary, who also happens to be my secret sister this year at the church. It has been fun, and very odd, to have my best friend as a secret sister~since you have to keep it a secret for one full year! We reveal our sisters on Feb. 6th, and I fully intend to be able to frame and give this as a gift to her on that evening. She knows I am making it for my secret sister (Does not know it is her), and I have said on many occasions that I just don't think I will get it done. The larger picture is the update on what it looks like right now. Other than that, I really don't have much to post today. Still having some pretty blah days, so just trying to stay busy with mind occupying things :)

An Old Sunset, and a New Sunrise

2:41 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Life goes on, doesn't it? A sunset comes to usher out one day, and a sunrise to usher in a new day. There are so many analogies that can be drawn from this, but today I will just talk about one. Today is inauguration day, and we have issued in a new President. Right, wrong, Christian, not-Christian, Democratic, Republican, Liberal, it does NOT matter. What matters now, is that we as a nation get behind him, pray for him, and do what we can to change the situation we are in. I heard someone say today, what we need to do as a nation is get back to the "old fashioned" values of hard work, spending within our limits, and saving for a rainy day. HMMMMM....now why didn't I think of that?? LOL! Why is it that this is such a "NEW IDEA" for so many people?

And what about all the negative talk going on about outgoing President Bush. Yes, things went wrong on his watch, yes he made mistakes (those of who haven't may cast the first stone), but this is a man we elected, someone who deserves the respect of the position. I got a feeling a lot of people will find themselves very disappointed if all of their hope has been placed in the person of Pres. Obama. May God have mercy on those who put their faith, hopes, and dreams in any one but HIM!

~~~~~~Okay off my soap box!

On A Road Going Nowhere

10:05 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

On a road going nowhere, I find myself a loan traveler. The road is long, and hard. Everywhere I look there seem to be pot holes. Some are small and a minor inconvenience, but others seem like huge craters, bottomless pits, that if you are unlucky enough to fall into them you may never surface again. I have spent two days walking down this road, on this trip. No one else is in site, no water, no nourishment. I drag with me a body that refuses to be moved~and yet I feel that I must get to the next turn in the road, over that next hill, through the next long night~so I continue to drag, to coax, to beg, and to demand it to move. What keeps me going? What possess my legs to walk forward, when the weight pulls so heavily on them? The only thing I can think is it is the hope of something around the next corner, over the horizon, or beyond the next sunrise. A cure perhaps, or maybe just the promise of a better day. I, of course, have much hope after this lifetime. But what keeps me going, tied to this earth, this torturous place full of pain, disappointment, and mind numbing fatigue? This is the question I have to ask myself today, and every day, until the road gets wider, easier, and less bumpy. What happens if it does not, I dare not ask myself.

Sludging through mud

6:32 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Today has been a very difficult day. I feel like I am trying to swim through a murky, thick, muddy swamp. Thinking is difficult~not to even speak of the other bodily functions one must perform on a day to day basis. It is so hard to put into words the actual feelings. All I can say is it is much like your body is submersed in cement. Every limb is covered, and it feels like you are carrying around 100lb weights attached to you. I haven't been able to stitch much today, as my arms just got "tired". This frustrates me so~ and more frustrating then the way I feel, is trying to explain the way I feel to those here! My kids and husband just don't seem to get it (or they don't want too). My kitchen is a disaster, the laundry isn't done, the living room is a mess, and all I can do is hide out in my bedroom~trying not to cry. I know I SHOULD get up and get all this stuff done, but the thought of doing ANYTHING just makes me want to bawl! All I seem to be able to do is sit here and play stupid suduko games, and poker. I HATE THIS!

Okay, enough of my pity party. I am sure tomorrow will be better. I just need some extra sleep......Which won't happen if I go to church.....So now my choice is, miss church AGAIN, or go and not get the extra sleep :( UGGHHHHH!!!!!

1-16-09

11:05 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Got home late from soccer games. Josh had 100% saves tonight, so good games. It is now 11:05, so I will not post much tonight. Have felt very off today, and so I am headed to bed. Will post tomorrow.

More Snow Days

7:43 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Ahh Winter. My favorite time of the year! Okay if you know me, then you realize this was said tongue in cheek. The kids had another snow day today~although in reality, it had nothing to do with snow, and everything to do with the temperature. Right now at 8 p.m. it is an actual temperature of -10 with the wind chills at -36! Its too cold to even THINK about going outside, let alone to stand out waiting for the school bus to come pick you up. This creates only a minor problem for me though. The kids will miss school Wed. Thurs. and Friday this week. Monday is a school holiday~ so they won't go back to school until Tuesday. Talk about messing with my routine LOL!

As for stitching, I did manage to get quiet a bit done on "Quilts in the Garden" I am about 5/8 of the way through the project now. It is supposed to be done for my Secret Sister at church (Who happens to be my best friend Mary) by the 6th of Feb. Not sure if I can pull that off, but I am certainly going to try. Won't she be surprised if I do, since she has watched me stitching on this for nearly a year! LOL

Sign of the Times????

10:58 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

This was on the MSNBC website today. It really caught my attention, as it seems we are all having to make such difficult choices. Do you pay your utilities, or buy medicine? Pay your house or your car payment? and on and on. So many of our friends are without jobs right now, and I am very thankful that so far, we are still with a job. But the choices get harder each and every day. I would have thought this comic funny, if it weren't so darned scary!

S.C. Update

7:40 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Here is the update of Sistine Chapel. This is week 2 of stitching, and only on column three. I had to put it away for a bit, as I was getting frustrated with it. I have decided to do 1/2 page - 1 page a month rather then working on it weekly. I plan on working on it for one full week each month until it gets finished.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

6:40 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Today was my birthday...... I had it all planned out, what I was going to do. I was going to lunch with my husband, and then out to a movie, ending the day off with a nice dinner at church, church, and a few hours reading before bed. Mother Nature, however, had other plans! I awoke this morning at 6 am to Josh and my husband sitting on the couch, watching the television. The minute they saw me, Josh got a huge smile on his face, and informed me that there was no school. A snow day! Over night we got nearly 6"s of snow. Then to top that off, it is bitterly cold. Right now it is a warm 4 degrees, with a windchill at around -12! That will only get worse, as the temp is to drop well below 0 tonight, and the wind is supposed to pick up to around 30-40 mph! YUCK!

So what did I do, you ask?! Well I met my best friend Mary for lunch (along with both my kids, my husband and her daughter). Then we came back to the house, where we spent the afternoon Talking and stitching <-But mostly TALKING! It was nice! I then made Chicken and Noodles for dinner, and have now settled in for an evening of Texas Holdem Poker. Not a bad day, if I do say so myself!

Two Left Thumbs

4:11 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

So today I had time, I thought, to spend on Sistine Chapel. I got all comfortable, wrapped my extra fabric around a tube, put the pup in a blanket next to my legs and off I went in search of the stitcher's utopia~you know the one where everything just seems to flow, and you find yourself in a trance like state?! Well with the first few minutes, I had been disturbed several times by the phone, husband, pup etc. Then I realized as I stitched further, that I had two left thumbs! Nothing and I do mean NOTHING was flowing. In a row of 10 I made and pulled 4 mistakes~not real good odds. So after an hour of being totally frustrated, I decided to put S.C. away, and get out another project. I fought with trying to stitch for another hour and a half. I finally just gave up. Certainly is NOT going to be a productive day for stitching :( Maybe tomorrow! I have decided to put SC away early. I will post a picture on Thursday, but I am not taking it back up again until the 1st Thursday in Feb. I will work on it for a full week, and then put it away again.

1-12-09

5:53 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

I am so sick of snow! Okay to be honest, it really isn't the snow I am sick of. It is WINTER in general! There is a ray of hope, as I heard on the news today that there is only some 7 weeks or so left before Spring. Hallelujah! I guess the snow is nice to look at, you know, pretty and all. The real downfall of Winter is the cold, the ice, the blowing wind, the being cooped up in the house etc.

I did get quite a bit of work done on my S.C. today. Finished the 2nd column and began work on the third. I think the third column will go a lot faster as there isn't as many confetti stitches. I have also amended the way that I am stitching a bit. I stitch the first block (10 columns x 10 rows) of one color, and then seat that color in the next block of 10. I then go back to the first block and do the next color through the whole block before seating it in the second block, and so on. Seems to move a bit faster that way, just have to pray that I do not mess up, for taking those stitches out would be nearly impossible! It is certainly not a project I should ever work on while tired. All in all I got 400 stitches put in, in just under 4 hours. I have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to continue working on it, before putting it away for the month. I will then pull out my Quilts in the Garden for Friday. I am not sure what I will go on to if I happen to get that done before my 3 weeks are up, so will have to think about that.

Our church is starting a new service on Thursday mornings at 10:00. We also have W.M's (or Women's Ministries) on Tuesday Mornings. I am considering going back to WM's, but I am just not sure. I had stopped going because the women in this particular group are all much older then I am (retirement age and above). While I love to learn what I can by those who are older then I, I don't find much in common with them. Even the simple things, such as children or managing the house, seems to have changed so much since they raised their children, that it is hard to find common ground. And yet, I feel that I must get back involved in the church, that I have been away for far too long. The best thing about WM's is that I can take my cross-stitching with me, and work on that during the meeting. So it is free stitching time for me. Will see if I can manage to get out of bed early enough for it tomorrow. The other obstacle is that Tim is off for the next two days. My schedule is always different when he is home.

I had wanted to attend the M.S. Support group on Wed. morning this month as well. I hate to be off running to this and that, when Tim is off., and it is my birthday, so I am really not sure about what to do. The last time I went, several years ago, it was an odd experience. All of the people in attendance were 50 and older. Many were in advancing stages, so it scared me a bit. Unfortunately, I am now in the same state many of them were years ago, so it might do me some good to go and get some information and such. I just hate going into new groups of people by myself. I guess I need to learn, since it seems that I will be doing that a lot this month. Next Tuesday night, I will be attending my first Blue Star Mothers Support Group~its for mothers with children in the military. Figure I am going to need all the support in this area that I can get. There are actually two gold star members in this group~I hope to NEVER achieve that status, as you have to lose your family member to get there.

1-11-09

10:12 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Just a quick post today, as it has been a very long day. Like usual, when I know I have to get up early, I have a horrible time trying to go to sleep, and so it was last night. Finally at 3:30 or so, I stopped watching the clock. Went to church and Sunday school this morning. Actually was very glad I went, as they were collecting an opinion poll on what was needed in the church, and one of the issues is that with an elevator. We don't have one right now, and it is really hard to get from one floor to the next (from Sunday School to church etc). After church, came home for a quick lunch before heading out the door for soccer game. Josh only played 1/2 the game in goal, at which point he had a 100% ratio. He then played the second 1/2 as forward~which is what he plays on the high school team. Then after the game, drove home to drop Josh off and worked on Board Meeting stuff quickly before leaving again to go back to Morton for a Board Meeting. I finally got home at 9, but spent the next hour or so typing up the minutes from the meeting, before I forgot what was said. It will be so nice to have a lap top to take with me, so that I can type while people talk, instead of having to come home and do it.

So anyways, that was my day, and now I am tired, so off to bed for me. Tomorrow is Monday, and I intend to get my home blessing done, all my laundry washed/dried/put away, and my dishes all done. Then I plan on spending as much time as possible stitching!!!!

Stitching Re-direct

9:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Today I spent almost 3 hours working on Sistine Chapel. Got 260 stitches into it, and nearly 1/2 of the 2nd column completed. What I realized is that working on the S.C. as I had originally intended to do, won't give me any time for anything else this year. This will not only make me cranky, but will make me give up and the S.C. will end up in my pile of WIPS. So I have decided to dedicate 1 week a month to working on it. During that week, I will stitch on nothing else (unless its a traveling project) but the S.C. But, when the week is finished, the S.C. gets put away and I move on to something else. For now, the other 3 weeks will be working on ONE project from my WIPS pile, so I can try to get some of them cleared up. I have several smaller projects which I can kit up and take with me to soccer practices over the spring. That way I will always have something to stitch, and hopefully accomplish the projects I need to finish. As I am always adding to my "Want to do" pile, I have to be careful not to add more projects to my WIPS LOL. Will take a picture of the S.C. at the end of this week (Thursday night 1/15) and post, and then beginning Friday, finish working on Quilts in the Garden. I would like to have that one completely done by the end of the 3 weeks, and think it is very do-able if that is all I am working on.

Tonight was nice. We had a very nice birthday party for Robert. He is in the "hippie" phase, so we got him a sweatshirt/jacket with peace symbols all over it, a matching bandanna, 2 c.d.'s with 60s music on them, and a peace symbol key chain. He seemed to have loved the gifts, even though I thought they were a bit corny. As I watched him unwrap them, I couldn't help but think how grown up he has become......and yet, how young he still is! I remember when I was 18, I thought I was finally an adult, and couldn't wait to prove myself to the world. But looking at him, makes me realize how young 18 really is! It is going to be very hard to watch him graduate and leave for the Army in May. I didn't realize how it was going to effect me emotionally before tonight.

Friday Housework????

8:11 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Today is supposed to be my housework day. You know the day where the house gets put back in order, so that the kids can destroy it over the weekend?! Yeah, well I decided not this week! I haven't had the energy to do much at all, specially not housework YUCK! So, I decided to clean on Monday...once the monsters (I mean kids) go back to school, and the house can at least stay presentable for a day or so, instead of feeling like I have done it all for naught.

I managed to post an update for week one, of my Sistine Chapel today. I was only a day late, which I consider quite good considering!

Have a long weekend ahead of me this weekend. Tomorrow Zech will be home for the day. I love having him closer so we can be more involved with him, but it also really takes its toll, as he requires so much extra work then the other children do. We are going to be going out to my parents tomorrow evening to celebrate Robert's 18th birthday. I can't believe he is already 18...where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday I had him, and a few months I will be sending him off to the Army~and his Independence!

Sunday we have a soccer game in Morton at 3:15. My goal is to go back to church in the morning as well. I will have to take Tim to work after lunch, then head to Morton for the game. Then after the game, I have to bring the kids back to Pekin, and head back to Morton for a board meeting. I would take the kids with me, but we are going to be discussing some serious stuff, and its my first meeting as secretary, so I want to make sure my attention is where it ought to be. I had hoped to have had a laptop by this meeting, to make taking notes easier for me, since it is so hard for me to write....but that didn't happen, so will just have to do the best I can.

SC Week 1 Update

3:23 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

This is my first update photo for the project Sistine Chapel (an Artecy project). I had committed to getting at least 1/2 a page done each week~but as you can see, that did not happen! I think the fact that it had a ton of confetti stitches, as well as our new family member (Otis), I may have set an impossible goal for the first week. I am going to attempt to have the first 1/2 page done by next Thursday (1-15), and from there hopefully stay caught up. After I took this picture, I got about an hour and 1/2 more done on it, so that the first column is completed, along with the first 10 rows of the second column.

Thursday's= Grocery Day

8:39 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Had to go out in the terrible, cold, mean world again today~and do the detestable~ GROCERY SHOPPING. I don't really know why I hate it so much, I just know that I do. I have been going when Tim is home to go with me, but it still wears me out so much, that all I want to do when I get home is sleep. So for the most part this afternoon, I sat on the couch with the puppy and dozed.

Cleaning?? Whats that? I haven't been able to keep up on my flying at all! Really depresses me when I can't seem to do the simple things to keep up (the swish and swipe and the clean sink). I just seem to have no energy for anything that isn't completely required. I did finally make it to church last night~but by the time I got home I felt like I had been through a marathon. People just don't understand how hard it can be at times for me. Simple things like going to church, suck out my life blood. And when I do go, I have to listen to everyone go on and on about how I haven't been there....... Even my friends don't seem to listen when I tell them that its the little things that wear me out~and I have to pick and choose what I am going to do.

Then of course you add to all of it the fact that I have this cute, adorable little puppy who is not potty trained yet, and you add in a whole new set of circumstances in which I am responsible for care taking. We have had some successes, which make me feel like continuing on, in the potty training area. But it also seems for every success, we take 3 or 4 steps backwards. I know it takes time, and I am trying really hard to remember what a wonderful pet he will make once he is trained. But sometimes its hard to remember that he is just a baby and I have to give him a break.

Course generally just about the time that I am ready to give up, he does something cute, like chase after his little tail stub...and all I can do is laugh at him. I bought him a little blue sweater today, to try to keep him warm, but he still shivers all the time! And we found out recently, he is scared of heights......so there is no fear of having him sleep on our bed, as he doesn't like being that far off the ground LOL.

As for my hands, they were particularly empty today, for once again I got NO Stitching done. This really has to stop, as I am sooo cranky from not having my stitching time! Tomorrow morning, while Tim is home, I am going to take some time alone to stitch. And then he is off again on Sat, so hopefully I will get a chance again then. Once Otis is potty trained I will be able to leave him where I don't have to watch his every move, and then I can go back to my regular schedule. Its just right now, I don't know how long that will be. I am way behind on my Sistine Chapel. I still have 10 rows to do, in order to finish the first column, and I was supposed to have the first 1/2 page done by today!!! Talking about that, I have to get a picture of that and post it to the group as well~even if I haven't meet my goal~to keep me accountable.

Well I am going to play a game of poker, then it is off to bed for me.

My Cat Thinks its a Dog

9:28 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

This is a picture of Max, our cat. The picture does not do him justice, but it is the only one I have been able to take so far. So, a bit of information is probably needed first, on how Max came to live with us. Back in late Sept. or early Oct, during the height of High School Soccer season, (and Hurricanes), we came home one day from a soccer practice to loud howling coming from our under our deck. On further inspection, we discovered the source of the howling was a rather large and angry cat. I immediately suspected that the cat had been a run-a-way, and had told my children to leave it alone, in the hopes it would run back to its owner. A full week went by, and the cat never left under our porch. Of course by this time, I had to give it some food (although I have a stinking suspicion he was eating plenty of mice to keep him happy). The cat would come out and sit in my daughters lap, or mine, but would not stand still long enough for us to figure out if it was a boy or a girl. So we decided to name the Cat MAX (for Maxine or max-a-million {later determined to be Maxwell} depending on the sex~to be discovered later). Anyway, after two weeks of a cat living under my porch I realized that someone had probably put him out. (This has been happening a lot lately with the economy and people being unable to take care of their animals.) I discovered that Max was a he, and that he was fixed and de-clawed. So we did the next plausible thing........we invited him in. He didn't stay! As soon as the front door was opened, he ran back outside and hid under our porch. A week or so later, Tim and I opened the door one day to leave, and Max walked into the house (much like he owned it) and has never left!

So now on to the part of the Cat thinking he is a dog. Here is my case:

Max Begs. Anytime you have food, he will sit at your feet and attempt to get you to drop your food to him
Max Fetches. When playing with the dogs, if you throw a small toy, Max will not only chase after it, but will also pick it up and return it to you.
Max Eats Dog Food. Need I say more about this one???
Max knows commands. Max knows how to come, and sit, and lay.
Max loves his stomach rubbed.
Max plays with the puppy, as if he is a puppy himself. The chase each other all around the house, the cat chasing the dog, and vice-versa. Max will pounce on Otis, pinning him to the floor, steal Otis's toy and on and on...

So as you can see, our house has a strange assortment of animals. We have a Gecko (Buddy), Two goldfish (Kiko and F-I-S-H), a Cat (Boots), and three dogs (Abby, Otis and Max~who has S.I.D (species identity disorder)).